Disclaimer: I would like to apologize to anyone reading this who has suffered loss or has it harder than me, this is a place where I just need to vent
As many of you know out there this past year has not been a fabulous one for my dear Dom. With dealing with his Aspergers, ADHD, hypothyroidism and problems fighting for his rights to stay at the school he loves we suffered or are suffering with another blow. We have been very concerned about Dom's height, he has been on thyroid meds for the past 10 months but it hasn't been helping. He is not even 4 feet tall and is 9 years old. I contacted his endocrinologist to see what is going on. A blood test and xray later we find out that he MIGHT have growth hormone deficiency. We need to go through a 3 hour iv test in the next few weeks to determine this. But as I google and see what it involves, I would have to inject my poor boy with growth hormones every day until he is 16 years old! Ugh, the idea of this just causes my anxiety to rise and just makes me angry. Why does a sweet 9 year old always have to have the short end of the stick. Anyone who knows Dom knows how sweet and empathetic he is. He cares for his friends and family dearly but always has to deal with fighting for normalcy. Why cant he just have a "normal" childhood and deal with "normal" issues.
As I sit here I am just filled with anger and questions as to why why why. I am hoping we have definite answers soon and that Dom can grow and not have to justify his growth to his friends saying I have a problem with my thyroid over and over again.
Dom
Sunday, September 20, 2015
Monday, June 1, 2015
Bring on the DRAMA
Most of you already know that my Dom was diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome when he was 2 years old. When a parent hears this diagnosis you either accept the diagnosis, are against it, in denial or in the acceptance/denial stage. For about most of Dom's life i was in the acceptance/denial stage.
Yes i realize that this is something that Dom has and will live with but that my child can do anything that other children do! We got through preschool and kindergarten and through about half of his elementary years. Academically he did ok and socially he has friends which is great for any aspie and also great for the mom who is constantly in denial by her little sunshine's disability. But by going through the years this mom was always sad to see his friends being achievers in sports and clubs and my son having to struggle or not really giving a sh&*. We tried sports and well he didn't really care for them or excel at it. We even tried karate but well he didn't really care for that either. The sensei would yell at the kids to do their kata and well Dom always did it on "Dom time", which really meant s-l-o-w-l-y, so he basically got yelled at the whole 45 minutes each week. We also did art classes which he did and kind of enjoyed but he isn't a Picasso by any means.
This past year we were asked by a friend to try a drama class by Drama Kids. At first i was like, ok, here we go, another class that i need to drag Dom to where he will be "ok" at. After his first class i asked Dom what he thought and he said, it was AMAZING, i had so much fun!!! So I immediately signed him up and we tried it out. This program is phenomenal for us and for Dom. It gave Dom self confidence, made him comfortable enough to be his true self and made him happy. Throughout the next 7 months or so Dom started acting in class and then here we were at the end of the year performance at the EGG in Albany. I was a nervous wreck! What if he froze? What if he forgot his lines? What if he cried because he forgot his lines?
Well boy was i wrong! Dom did not forget his lines, he was funny and adorable and happy. That whole day we saw a Dom that we hadn't seen in a while. He was genuinely happy, stress free and confident. It filled my heart with so much happiness that i couldn't even sit still for one minute. This is the Dom that i have always wanted to peek out and i owe it all to Drama Kids. Cant wait for next year to be here already!!
Thursday, September 27, 2012
One year later and doing alright i think
Life has gotten very busy in the past year and I have been neglected my wonderful blog which was a great outlet for me when I was struggling with life.
In the past year, we survived Kindergarten (more later), survived the first year of college and HS for my two older ones and got pregnant:) Baby girl coming in 8 weeks!
As Kindergarten started last year I was a nervous wreck. Here was my little preschooler leaving a nice integrated class and entering a class of 20 typical peers. As the year progressed we watched Dom learn, make friends and have a good year but not a great one. His anxieties that we saw in preschool were still apparent in Kindergarten. It took Dom 5 months to have the courage to even say "hi" to his kindergarten teacher. Keep in mind that his teacher was the sweetest, nicest looking person that I have met and could relate to but to Dom he felt very nervous about talking to her and it took about 8 months for him to have a back and forth communication with him. Dom also struggled in groups while talking to other children. As a concerned mother I had Dom evaluated to see if he qualified for additional services for 1st grade, which he did. When we finally got the results back and were able to have a meeting in July it was determined that his services were doubled, added special ed again which was taken away in Kindergarten and added his one one to one aide.
As our first summer began without a 6 week integrated program (21 hours a week) as we were used to in preschool I developed a crazy therapy schedule for Dom. He received speech and social work through the school district 2x a week for 6 weeks and then i also signed him up for social work through a friendship group which met once a week for an hour for 9 weeks, a social work camp through a local college which met 15 hrs for a week and then signed him up for an astronaut camp for 2 weeks. This schedule might sound nutty but it worked for Dom and gave him a great start for a new year of school after along 10 week break.
As 1st grade began this year we were very optimistic that this would be a great year for Dom. And so far it has been, Dom comes home 100% less anxious and very happy. I know it is early to see how he is doing but he is actually talking to his teacher and communicating to his other therapists which include speech, ot, social work and special ed.
Socially typical Aspergers children dont have many friends or just have 1. This year Dom only feel comfortable playing with one child at recess and sits with him on the bus. This is great for Dom, but I always worry"what if" this boy is sick and not at school then what does Dom do. I asked Dom what do you do when the boy is not there "i just play with myself". My heart breaks hearing these things from Dom but he doesnt have the skills or confidence to make new friends yet or go and ask different kids to play with him. Hopefully with all of the services this year Dom will gain more confidence in himself and be able to approach other kids and play with them, be happy and make new relationships.
In the past year, we survived Kindergarten (more later), survived the first year of college and HS for my two older ones and got pregnant:) Baby girl coming in 8 weeks!
As Kindergarten started last year I was a nervous wreck. Here was my little preschooler leaving a nice integrated class and entering a class of 20 typical peers. As the year progressed we watched Dom learn, make friends and have a good year but not a great one. His anxieties that we saw in preschool were still apparent in Kindergarten. It took Dom 5 months to have the courage to even say "hi" to his kindergarten teacher. Keep in mind that his teacher was the sweetest, nicest looking person that I have met and could relate to but to Dom he felt very nervous about talking to her and it took about 8 months for him to have a back and forth communication with him. Dom also struggled in groups while talking to other children. As a concerned mother I had Dom evaluated to see if he qualified for additional services for 1st grade, which he did. When we finally got the results back and were able to have a meeting in July it was determined that his services were doubled, added special ed again which was taken away in Kindergarten and added his one one to one aide.
As our first summer began without a 6 week integrated program (21 hours a week) as we were used to in preschool I developed a crazy therapy schedule for Dom. He received speech and social work through the school district 2x a week for 6 weeks and then i also signed him up for social work through a friendship group which met once a week for an hour for 9 weeks, a social work camp through a local college which met 15 hrs for a week and then signed him up for an astronaut camp for 2 weeks. This schedule might sound nutty but it worked for Dom and gave him a great start for a new year of school after along 10 week break.
As 1st grade began this year we were very optimistic that this would be a great year for Dom. And so far it has been, Dom comes home 100% less anxious and very happy. I know it is early to see how he is doing but he is actually talking to his teacher and communicating to his other therapists which include speech, ot, social work and special ed.
Socially typical Aspergers children dont have many friends or just have 1. This year Dom only feel comfortable playing with one child at recess and sits with him on the bus. This is great for Dom, but I always worry"what if" this boy is sick and not at school then what does Dom do. I asked Dom what do you do when the boy is not there "i just play with myself". My heart breaks hearing these things from Dom but he doesnt have the skills or confidence to make new friends yet or go and ask different kids to play with him. Hopefully with all of the services this year Dom will gain more confidence in himself and be able to approach other kids and play with them, be happy and make new relationships.
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Kindergarten has started for my cute ASPIE
We are almost one month into Kindergarten and so far ok.....
We are completely blessed to have the best neighbors in the world. The bus seems like an anxiety for Dom, he is one of the last kids to be picked up and as he walks onto the bus he has no idea where to sit But the awesome girls who live next door, find him a seat and even buckle his seat belt for him. It is a great start to his day.
Dom has had a great transition to Kindergarten so far, he is truly enjoying art, music, PE, etc. He is also liking circle time. I have to laugh at him sometimes, i often forget what a great memory kids with Aspergers actually have. With only a few weeks of Kindergarten behind him, he can actually recite circle time, word for word when he gets home, including calendar time, the whole alphabet chart, etc....It is quite amazing and crazy. If only i had the memory of Dom, i could of been a doctor or lawyer.
The only setback that he seems to be having is recess, which probably wouldn't surprise the special needs parents out there. Dom told me the other day that no one plays with him on the playground, that he is all one but is not sad. Some would say that him not being sad is a positive sign. But when you think about it spectrum like being alone, so that does make them happy. I really want Dom to be happy playing with others, fostering relationships and being comfortable in his own skin. I do have teachers looking out for him and it is ONLY September, so it can get better, right?
Well that is it for now, only 9 more months till June!!
We are completely blessed to have the best neighbors in the world. The bus seems like an anxiety for Dom, he is one of the last kids to be picked up and as he walks onto the bus he has no idea where to sit But the awesome girls who live next door, find him a seat and even buckle his seat belt for him. It is a great start to his day.
Dom has had a great transition to Kindergarten so far, he is truly enjoying art, music, PE, etc. He is also liking circle time. I have to laugh at him sometimes, i often forget what a great memory kids with Aspergers actually have. With only a few weeks of Kindergarten behind him, he can actually recite circle time, word for word when he gets home, including calendar time, the whole alphabet chart, etc....It is quite amazing and crazy. If only i had the memory of Dom, i could of been a doctor or lawyer.
The only setback that he seems to be having is recess, which probably wouldn't surprise the special needs parents out there. Dom told me the other day that no one plays with him on the playground, that he is all one but is not sad. Some would say that him not being sad is a positive sign. But when you think about it spectrum like being alone, so that does make them happy. I really want Dom to be happy playing with others, fostering relationships and being comfortable in his own skin. I do have teachers looking out for him and it is ONLY September, so it can get better, right?
Well that is it for now, only 9 more months till June!!
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Sending Number 1 to College
5 years ago when Dom was born i always said that in 5 years from now Dom would be starting Kindergarten. Jonathan would be starting High School and Nathanial would be going off to college. The past 5 years have literally flown by and i wish that they would of taken longer.
This whole year has been a dread for me, not only my baby starting Kindergarten but for Nathanial to start college. Nathanial and I have always been close, more like best friends. We can still tell each other anything and not worry about being judged while in the same time he still respected me as a parent and actually listened to me. It has not always been perfect but it has been wonderful at the same time. I have been dreading this day just because its not only a mother sending her son to college but a mom losing her best friend at home. Nathanial is always there when i have to bitch about something or complain about someone. I guess i will have to learn to wait for a text or for a response to my various emails.
Drop off today was just plain weird. We set up his room, met his roomate and had lunch in the cafeteria. We were going to take N out to a nice restaurant but due to the hurricane Saranac Lake had a black out so it was back to the campus for cafeteria food which was actually pretty good. Nathanial's college is very beautiful in the Adirondacks, the perfect place for him. Saying good bye was fast but i did throw in my i love you's like 2000 times. It was hard to say good bye but it had to be done. I will see him in a month which seems like a lifetime, but he needs this more than me i think. Now as he comes home on breaks i will have to remember to treat him more like an adult but in the same time always remember him as a child, since that is what he will always be to me. These past 7 years together have been fabulous and i cant wait to see what the future holds.
This whole year has been a dread for me, not only my baby starting Kindergarten but for Nathanial to start college. Nathanial and I have always been close, more like best friends. We can still tell each other anything and not worry about being judged while in the same time he still respected me as a parent and actually listened to me. It has not always been perfect but it has been wonderful at the same time. I have been dreading this day just because its not only a mother sending her son to college but a mom losing her best friend at home. Nathanial is always there when i have to bitch about something or complain about someone. I guess i will have to learn to wait for a text or for a response to my various emails.
Drop off today was just plain weird. We set up his room, met his roomate and had lunch in the cafeteria. We were going to take N out to a nice restaurant but due to the hurricane Saranac Lake had a black out so it was back to the campus for cafeteria food which was actually pretty good. Nathanial's college is very beautiful in the Adirondacks, the perfect place for him. Saying good bye was fast but i did throw in my i love you's like 2000 times. It was hard to say good bye but it had to be done. I will see him in a month which seems like a lifetime, but he needs this more than me i think. Now as he comes home on breaks i will have to remember to treat him more like an adult but in the same time always remember him as a child, since that is what he will always be to me. These past 7 years together have been fabulous and i cant wait to see what the future holds.
Monday, August 22, 2011
Kindergarten Here We Come and some anxiety along with it
Hey all,
I cant believe it has been 3 months since my last blog. Where did the summer go! Well Dom has finished his integrated pre-school years, i dont know where 25 months went, but he had an amazing time with amazing teacher. He started not even able to leave a teachers side and only speaking 2 words at a time to being able to play with children, not only parallel play but play with others using spontaneous language and having a great time with it. He now loves being with other children which is just amazing to watch.
Now with Kindergarten only 2 or so weeks ago, here comes another huge transition. I can already see the anxiety in Dom's eyes as he can probably see mine. Dom is going into a typical class for the first time with only receiving speech and OT 2 times a week and a lunch bunch group one time a week. I know that he is academically ready for KIndergarten since he is already reading Step 2 books and is teaching himself Spanish on youtube (dont ask) but socially it just worries me - ALOT. Dom's anxiety seems to go into overdrive when adults talk to him or ask him random questions, like do you like this? how did you do that? I wonder how he will be in a class of 20 or so with so many distractions, but i guess that is left into the hands of his new teacher and me checking on him as much as humanly possible. The only plus size of this whole situation is that Dom got placed into a Kindergarten class with an aide in it, so maybe she will help him along, we will have to wait and see!
To be continued in September.....
I cant believe it has been 3 months since my last blog. Where did the summer go! Well Dom has finished his integrated pre-school years, i dont know where 25 months went, but he had an amazing time with amazing teacher. He started not even able to leave a teachers side and only speaking 2 words at a time to being able to play with children, not only parallel play but play with others using spontaneous language and having a great time with it. He now loves being with other children which is just amazing to watch.
Now with Kindergarten only 2 or so weeks ago, here comes another huge transition. I can already see the anxiety in Dom's eyes as he can probably see mine. Dom is going into a typical class for the first time with only receiving speech and OT 2 times a week and a lunch bunch group one time a week. I know that he is academically ready for KIndergarten since he is already reading Step 2 books and is teaching himself Spanish on youtube (dont ask) but socially it just worries me - ALOT. Dom's anxiety seems to go into overdrive when adults talk to him or ask him random questions, like do you like this? how did you do that? I wonder how he will be in a class of 20 or so with so many distractions, but i guess that is left into the hands of his new teacher and me checking on him as much as humanly possible. The only plus size of this whole situation is that Dom got placed into a Kindergarten class with an aide in it, so maybe she will help him along, we will have to wait and see!
To be continued in September.....
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Reflections on infancy and toddlerhood
As I read my text for my Child Psychology class I can not stop but relate everything to Dominic. From brain waves, to infant communication to socialization. It is quite painful to read how most 9 month olds start socializing with others when this took Dom after 2-3 to realize and be comfortable with.
A few days ago I was at a friends house and saw video of our boys at 9 months to one years old. It was cute to see how much our boys have changed in the past 4 years. One piece of video contained our boys in a baby gymboree class. Most of the kids were playing with toys around a bin and then there was a closeup of dom playing by himself in the corner. Was Aspergers really this prominent in only a barely one year old. How could i not see what was right in front of me and that hey - is this normal to want to be solitary from other kids at this young of an age.......I do realize that getting Dom diagnosed at 2 1/2 was probably the best thing that i could do for him, but it still boggles me that i could of done more for him.
Anyways, on a great note, Dom is doing great in school and is a social butterfly - well enough for him anyways. He is initiating conversation, playing with others and talking in class, major improvement from last year. So here is too getting better!! TOAST!
A few days ago I was at a friends house and saw video of our boys at 9 months to one years old. It was cute to see how much our boys have changed in the past 4 years. One piece of video contained our boys in a baby gymboree class. Most of the kids were playing with toys around a bin and then there was a closeup of dom playing by himself in the corner. Was Aspergers really this prominent in only a barely one year old. How could i not see what was right in front of me and that hey - is this normal to want to be solitary from other kids at this young of an age.......I do realize that getting Dom diagnosed at 2 1/2 was probably the best thing that i could do for him, but it still boggles me that i could of done more for him.
Anyways, on a great note, Dom is doing great in school and is a social butterfly - well enough for him anyways. He is initiating conversation, playing with others and talking in class, major improvement from last year. So here is too getting better!! TOAST!
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