Kindergarten has started for my cute ASPIE

We are almost one month into Kindergarten and so far ok.....

We are completely blessed to have the best neighbors in the world. The bus seems like an anxiety for Dom, he is one of the last kids to be picked up and as he walks onto the bus he has no idea where to sit But the awesome girls who live next door, find him a seat and even buckle his seat belt for him. It is a great start to his day.

Dom has had a great transition to Kindergarten so far, he is truly enjoying art, music, PE, etc. He is also liking circle time. I have to laugh at him sometimes, i often forget what a great memory kids with Aspergers actually have. With only a few weeks of Kindergarten behind him, he can actually recite circle time, word for word when he gets home, including calendar time, the whole alphabet chart, etc....It is quite amazing and crazy. If only i had the memory of Dom, i could of been a doctor or lawyer.

The only setback that he seems to be having is recess, which probably wouldn't surprise the special needs parents out there. Dom told me the other day that no one plays with him on the playground, that he is all one but is not sad. Some would say that him not being sad is a positive sign. But when you think about it spectrum like being alone, so that does make them happy. I really want Dom to be happy playing with others, fostering relationships and being comfortable in his own skin. I do have teachers looking out for him and it is ONLY September, so it can get better, right?

Well that is it for now, only 9 more months till June!!

Sending Number 1 to College

5 years ago when Dom was born i always said that in 5 years from now Dom would be starting Kindergarten. Jonathan would be starting High School and Nathanial would be going off to college. The past 5 years have literally flown by and i wish that they would of taken longer.

This whole year has been a dread for me, not only my baby starting Kindergarten but for Nathanial to start college. Nathanial and I have always been close, more like best friends. We can still tell each other anything and not worry about being judged while in the same time he still respected me as a parent and actually listened to me. It has not always been perfect but it has been wonderful at the same time. I have been dreading this day just because its not only a mother sending her son to college but a mom losing her best friend at home. Nathanial is always there when i have to bitch about something or complain about someone. I guess i will have to learn to wait for a text or for a response to my various emails.

Drop off today was just plain weird. We set up his room, met his roomate and had lunch in the cafeteria. We were going to take N out to a nice restaurant but due to the hurricane Saranac Lake had a black out so it was back to the campus for cafeteria food which was actually pretty good. Nathanial's college is very beautiful in the Adirondacks, the perfect place for him. Saying good bye was fast but i did throw in my i love you's like 2000 times. It was hard to say good bye but it had to be done. I will see him in a month which seems like a lifetime, but he needs this more than me i think. Now as he comes home on breaks i will have to remember to treat him more like an adult but in the same time always remember him as a child, since that is what he will always be to me. These past 7 years together have been fabulous and i cant wait to see what the future holds.

Kindergarten Here We Come and some anxiety along with it

Hey all,

I cant believe it has been 3 months since my last blog. Where did the summer go! Well Dom has finished his integrated pre-school years, i dont know where 25 months went, but he had an amazing time with amazing teacher. He started not even able to leave a teachers side and only speaking 2 words at a time to being able to play with children, not only parallel play but play with others using spontaneous language and having a great time with it. He now loves being with other children which is just amazing to watch.

Now with Kindergarten only 2 or so weeks ago, here comes another huge transition. I can already see the anxiety in Dom's eyes as he can probably see mine. Dom is going into a typical class for the first time with only receiving speech and OT 2 times a week and a lunch bunch group one time a week. I know that he is academically ready for KIndergarten since he is already reading Step 2 books and is teaching himself Spanish on youtube (dont ask) but socially it just worries me - ALOT. Dom's anxiety seems to go into overdrive when adults talk to him or ask him random questions, like do you like this? how did you do that? I wonder how he will be in a class of 20 or so with so many distractions, but i guess that is left into the hands of his new teacher and me checking on him as much as humanly possible. The only plus size of this whole situation is that Dom got placed into a Kindergarten class with an aide in it, so maybe she will help him along, we will have to wait and see!

To be continued in September.....

Reflections on infancy and toddlerhood

As I read my text for my Child Psychology class I can not stop but relate everything to Dominic. From brain waves, to infant communication to socialization. It is quite painful to read how most 9 month olds start socializing with others when this took Dom after 2-3 to realize and be comfortable with.

A few days ago I was at a friends house and saw video of our boys at 9 months to one years old. It was cute to see how much our boys have changed in the past 4 years. One piece of video contained our boys in a baby gymboree class. Most of the kids were playing with toys around a bin and then there was a closeup of dom playing by himself in the corner. Was Aspergers really this prominent in only a barely one year old. How could i not see what was right in front of me and that hey - is this normal to want to be solitary from other kids at this young of an age.......I do realize that getting Dom diagnosed at 2 1/2 was probably the best thing that i could do for him, but it still boggles me that i could of done more for him.

Anyways, on a great note, Dom is doing great in school and is a social butterfly - well enough for him anyways. He is initiating conversation, playing with others and talking in class, major improvement from last year. So here is too getting better!! TOAST!

Dom's Developmental Ped Appt - Amazing!

Before Dom turned 5 we wanted to get a second opinion on his Aspergers Syndrome diagnosis. We found out about Dr. Judith Lucas through internet research. She works for Albany Med at the Behavioral Pediatrics location on Clara Barton Road, if anyone is interested.

We had been to a dev ped before, and did not have the best experience, not with the diagnosis but with the bed side manner. Dom did not like the doctor and we wanted to find someone who could interact with him and actually see who Dom truly is at his best.  From start to finish, it took us 6 months to see the doctor. Within those 6 month we had a parent-only meeting to discuss Dominic's needs, behaviors and concerns.

At the appointment, we were amazed by how welcoming her office was. Age appropriate toys, a writing station and comfortable couches, this is key for me! ha ha We didnt have to wait long till the doctor came in and she spent one whole hour with us talking all about Dom, observing him, having conversations with him and playing, it was very relaxing. She answered all of our questions and even discussed the biological background of Aspergers and how she sees him doing in Kindergarten next year and beyond.

Dr. Lucas said that she does agree with the Aspergers diagnosis as well as she sees him being a bit hyperlexic. This is the opposite of dyslexic, kind of. She sees Dom having an IQ of at least 120 and along with his reading skills and memory and retention, he does go along with that diagnosis as well.  While Dom has getting older everyone would say oh he is such a smart little boy and i thought people were just saying that to be nice, but i guess he is extremely smart, and where he got this superbrain i will never know! Not from me, that is for sure. I looked up hyperlexia yesterday and some kids at age 5 are reading harry potter books! Dom is no way like that, he is only on step 1 books and dr. seuss, we will have to wait and see what Kindergarten brings next year.

Well all in all, our appt went very well and she wants to see us in September and also told us to look into the group CARD since they have events and speaking events that we might be interested in.

CPSE Meeting Results

Yesterday we went before our school districts CPSE board to determine what type of kindergarten class they feel is appropriate for Dom. If you dont know the process very well, when you child is in an integrated class they have to get tested first in speech, social, cognition, motor, etc., the board looks at the test scores and teacher recommendations and then they make their decision.

Well Dom scored very high for his cognition, 103, an average score is 85-115. He scored below average for pragmatics, social and motor, which we knew he would. So, after looking at all this, the board determined to put Dom in a typical regular kindergarten class for the fall. I was so shocked. This is what Tom and I dreamed about back in 2009 when Dom first got diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome and started his on-going therapy for the next 2 1/2 years; a normal class! Dom being in a typical class does scare me to death. Dom has been in an integrated class for the past 2 years with constant support and help from various teachers and now he is going into a class of 20 something students and 1 teacher. Will this 1 teacher be able to help him with his anxiety/apprehension/processing issues? Well only time will tell! He is also getting speech, ot and social services during the week, so i guess it could be worse!

I am so glad that September is a long 6 months away, i want my baby to stay a baby a little bit longer!

Life of a 4 yr old with A.S. and Kindergarten

Well here we are approaching our CPSE meeting to determine which type of Kindergarten class they are going to place Dom in. A committee gets to decide what THEY feel is better for my little D. They read his test reports, watched him in class and that is supposed to let them know where he should go. As we move from his class of 10 kids and 3-4 teachers he might go to either a class of 24 kids with 1 teacher or a class of 24 kids and 2-3 teachers. Seems easy right? Well, i will let you know on Thursday!

As I look back and see all the accomplishments D has made it really does amaze me. He can now tolerate kids in his space and actually talks to them and can do a back and forth conversation which he never did before. He is now reading, which is so bizarre! Can count to one hundred by 5's and 10's, can use the potty ( thank god) and takes piano and gymnastics! Looking at all these accomplishments really does make me happy but it also seems that he may even be ready for a "typical" class, but we will see.

Being in a typical class does scare me alot. Because of regression, regression, regression. Dom is a very sweet boy and can easily fall through the cracks on his "needs". He wont speak up or ask for help, so we will see if the school district will give him some extra help. We shall see!

Anyways.....will update you later!! Thanks for reading

Friday Knights - We survived!

As many parents with a child with Aspergers, i was trying to find some sort of social skills group for Dom to do. He is only 4 years old so our options are very limited. Most of the programs start at 6. So, a friend mentioned to me the Friday Knights program at St. Rose. This is where kids are put into small groups with volunteers who are students at St. Rose. They work on social skills by playing, coloring, music, yoga, and movement activities. The whole concept sounded great and only $25 for 5 weeks, so lets try it, right?

I signed up on a Thursday for the Friday program. As i was reading our confirmation letter i read that there would be 200 children signing up. My anxiety shot up like a canon. My son is going into a place with 199 other children? God help me, how is Dom supposed to handle this? Then i read that there would also be 200 volunteers, which sounded crazy but did make me feel better.

As we approached St. Rose, i had a brave face on for Dom, but i was pretty much a nervous wreck. We signed Dom up and got his name tag and went into the room where 5 friendly smiling volunteers were waiting for the kids to arrive. They were very friendly and down to earth which was great for me. Dom looked pretty nervous since it was a new place, new people, new activities, which usually gets him scared. He preset him, showed him the schedule and hung out till the new kids and waiting for the opportunity to sneak out. I gave him a kiss, pryed him off my lap, gave him another kiss, said bye, kissed him again and left the room. Dom looked very scared and nervous as my hubby and I peeked through the door for 10 minutes to see if he was ok. So, off we went to the parent support group that was taking place at the same time.

This is where parents of children on the spectrum sat down according to the age group of their children. As someone who doesnt mind talking about Aspergers to anyone, this was pretty good for me. It was really nice to talk to other parents who go through the same struggles as we do and talk about Kindergarten transition, which is on my mind every single day. 

So, 2 hours passed and it was time to pick up Dom. I was so nervous to see how he did and prayed that he did fine. And he survived! The counselors said that he was quiet but started to talk a bit at the end. And when the counselors asked if he would come back, he nodded yes! So to us this is a success! With KIndergarten around the corner, maybe it will be ok, right?

My heart is just pretend...

I never knew how hard it could be to explain internal organs to a 4 year old. Dom and I were putting this ABC puzzle together today and the letter H piece had a heart for Valentine's Day. I told Dom that he has a heart in his chest. He lifted up his shirt and said, "there is nothing there". I then told Dom that it was inside your chest and that you could not see it, but can feel the heart beat. He looked at his chest again and then said" hmm..."my heart is just pretend".

Dom is pretty much a realist, he has to see to believe....what a riot!

Why do I put myself in these situations.....

As a mother of a child with special needs you will try your very best to give your child every opportunity that other typical children have, but at what cost to a mothers own sanity?

My adorable, wonderful, energetic Dom is your average 4 1/2 year old boy with Aspergers Syndrome. He likes to run around, discover new things, look for ABC's and numbers and take his Mom along for the ride. Throughout his little life we have tried mommy and me classes, gymboree classes, playgroups, music classes, piano lessons, soccer and now the wonderful world of gymnastics!

Let me step back for a second, i dont know if it is the world of today but i currently have friends who do swimming lessons, backetball classes, gym classes, etc., so as a mom with a child with special needs I feel that it is my duty to not let my son's disability stop me from getting Dom involved in the same sorts of things as long as Dom likes it. So here came gymnastics....

Dom loves going to this class, he calls the class gym-magic class. He has a great first 15 minutes of the thirty minute class and the whole second part of the class I am there to get him organized, remind him of what he is supposed to be doing and chasing him around as he hides and ignores the instructors. As the other toddlers and 3 or 4 year old are doing the routines and following directions, there i am getting Dom who is hiding in the corner and trying to bribe him with french fries to just make it through the last five long minutes of the class.

Now class is over, so my stress is gone, right, WRONG!! Now it is time to get Dom out of the class and into the car, this is where the whole challenge really begins. As soon as he gets out of class, he goes into the play area, runs around like a crazy person, throws toys and screams, SHUT UP and WHAT THE HECK while all the other moms give me and him dirty looks. I could typically take these looks, but not after working all day (4 hrs), picking up dom from school, giving him a speedy dinner and making it to our 530 class for thirty minutes of fun aka stresscity!! So, we finally make it into the car after twenty minutes or so, i finally take a relaxing breathe and thank GOD that i made it through another gym magic class and think.....why do i put myself into these situations!

Brown Boy, Where are You?

As many of you know Dom is as white as can be and the cutest too. As a 4 year old having Aspergers he definately sees the world in a different way. This past week we headed over to the McDonalds on Holland Avenue which has an indoor playground. For those of you who are not from Albany, Holland Ave is by Albany Medical Center which is in a pretty busy downtown area and has mixed ethnicities (this will be helpful later). As we entered the McDonalds Dom was his usual shy self but after only one minute of asking him to go on the slide he went. He was having a blast and even met a "friend" The two of them were playing in the slides and i couldnt even seen them, but from what I heard they were having a blast. Then all of a sudden i hear Dom saying pretty loudly..."brown boy, brown boy, where are you? i can find you brown boy". As being a pretty white girl in an eating establishment with 80% minorities i was a little embarassed. But Dom kept on calling him brown boy, brown boy.......eventually when Dom came down from the slide, i told him that maybe he should just call him "boy" since he didnt know his name, so that worked out a bit better. It is pretty funny to understand how Dom sees things. Oh to be 4 again....